Trip My Wire

Murmur
Remember
Surrender
Breathe in the summer
The winter rain
Wander, my friend
Vanish

Listen
Through dancing sleep
Dream him here
Wave morning empty
with gentle moonlit motions

Snow
A sudden dark sky
Open me deeply
Long chills
Will help you recall
The day you needed this

Paxil Pleasured

Today I had a vision
Or a vision had me
And I was frightened
Nightmares slash and slashed bleed

So I swallowed three Paxil to calm my nerves
Beautiful Paxil, calmer of nightmares
I poured a glass of orange juice
For pouring a glass of Absinthe would be deadly
It erased the chalky taste of the pills
Number by the medication, I was humbled

Why I Can't Stay Clean

This is how it numbs
This is how it dumbs
Baby, just make me bleed

It took an eightball of ecstacy
to erase him from my mind
Anger, rage, and passion
Intermingle and intertwine
The powder, so persuasive
Eratically sublime

This is how a heartaches
This is how a soul breaks
Repungnant and diseased
This is why I don't wanna stay clean

Embracing all this violence
the solitude of silence
It beats like the ticking of time
Lost pieces to desire
But they were never really mine

Sick as all your secrets
Of all these twisted misfits
What does all this mean ?
this is why I can't stay clean

This is where our love died
That was the last time I cried
Temporary temptation
Alleviates the concentration

A storm in a saucer
Enough to drive me farther
This is what I thought I needed
But it was only what I conceeded
That was what the belljar freed
This is why I gotta stay clean

California

Alteration

Concentration

a dedication

to the stimulation

Chased

Disgraced

Replaced

On display

Shallow and shamed

Annoyed and derranged

Broken and bruised

Engulfed and confused

Terrify

Purify

Justify

the suicide

Hectic

Skeptic

Pathetic

and synthetic

Shallow and shamed

Annoyed and derranged

Not broken, but bruisex

Engulfed and confused

Hey hey. Why don't you shut up ?

Hey hey. Why don't you shut up ?

I said shut up

Just shut the fuck up !

Decayed

Amased

Ashamed

Of the fame

Transpose

Decompose

Expose

and disclose

Shallow and shamed

Annoyed and derranged

Built to be bruised

Constantly confused

Hey hey . Why don't you shut up ?

Hey hey. Why don't you shut up ?

I said shut up

Just fucking shut up !

Coffee and Cigerette Stains

Youth has decayed
It's faded
Rotted away

Emotions that only lived in my head
They shimmer
then die

Wanting what I couldn't handle
Craving what I never wantd
Needing what I shouldn't crave

Flickering hope, they never cared
Drama slashes the beautiful creatures
Vomit out words to erase the sadness

Someday you will ache like I ache

There is no salvation without penance
No pleasure without equaling grief
Sorrow and joy ae sisters
Pain and relief, estranged cousins

Fantasies strangle
They rape,
then destroy

Sucumb to the misery
It eats
It ravages

Loosing all I never had
Stealing what I never lost
Forgetting that I ever stole

I thought it was love, but it was a lie
Choaking on hypocricy
I was insane

The freedom ride was just a ploy
there is no peace without hardship
No solitude without tears
Choke and release
Decieve me

Mountain Song

Ripe intoxication
Sticky with anticipation
Anxious and aroused
Childlike inquisition
The wheels spin serenly
Mind rejecting the negative stimuli

We sit calm
On a mountain
Now I'm expecting
You to come home early
So I'm protected

Sit and wait
on the mountain
Now I'm infected
With the lust
Of the first touch
Is this what you expected?

Deliscious inebriation
Wet with curiosity
Clever and continuing
Imagination intriguing
Sweet is the sting
The tantalizing sensations

Succulently under the influence
Slick with desire
Astounded and amazed
Expectations exceded
Beautiful was the breaking
Shivers drawn from flesh pleasures

We sit calm
On the mountain
Now I'm expected
You to leave
Take me home
Erase this violation

Sit and wait
On a mountain
Now I'm devastated
With the brush off
Of lifes ticking clock
Forget this penetration

Left alone
On this mountain
Things are complicated
Forfit the urge
For pinning plams
vomit out this intoxication

Scratch

Scratch

Flip the switch

Scratch tha itch

Feel the burn

Live, then learn

Char and cinder

Memories still linger

Forge past the pain

Our favorite love cliche

Havasu's Burning

Hey
Wait
Breathe
False security

Crash
Scar
Learn|
Blister until you burn

Forget and focus
Just live the lie
Candy is quicker
Than cianide
I don't want to argue
I just want to get you off

Down
Down
Down
Burn to the ground
Hey Hey
Hey Havasu's burning down

You
Don't
See
All this misery
Fall
Fail
Relax
Squander all your cash

Pre-Summer sweat
Glisten and gleam
Char and cinder
What remains is yet to be seen

Forget and focus
We live for the lie
Candy is quicker
Than cianide
I don't argue
I could always get you off

Down
Down
Down
Burn it all to the ground
Hey hey
Hey, Havasu's burning down

Yeah babe
Havasu's burning down
Yeah, you know
Havasu's burning down

Freedom Fails

he tear finally ceased
Ducts swollen and dehydrated
Brilliantly broken
A gentle flicker
Aroused my senses
Empowering the movement
to remove my body from a vomit soiled floor
For the possibility of power
Is sweeter than any sugar high

Once engulfed in obsession
The brain begins to restructure
Amputating ignorance
Filtering out the failures
Control is in the caution
Focus not on the futile
But the inspired intent

Avoiding the giving in to the guilt
Skin can always be cleansed
And yes, the scabs may scar
But bleeding bodies can repair
Always another purpose
Another new pleasure

So let me know how it feels sometime
When you realize you couldn't break me ?

White Chocolate Strawberry

Succulent,Serene
Everything I need
Growing wild in the breeze

Candy coated
Sugary sweet
Panic and penetration follow the relief

Delicate, delerious
A palet I can't reach
Futive futures finally, I admit defeat

Beg For Rain

Make me ache
Ease my pain
Drive me wild
Calm me sane
I'll get you off
You'll go away
It doesn't matter
It's all the same
I'm still on my knees
Begging for rain

Where Are My Keys ?

Vomit heart
Shot in sight
Tortured temptations
Sadistic delight

And if I could make a deal with god
Baby, you know I would
I never knew honey,
Watching you suffer could feel so good

The veil slowely lifted
A door finally slammed
Get off your self misery
Poser queen of the damned

Betraying your minions
For a lousy lay
You brought this opon yourself
It's why all your friendships decay

This simple rhyming scheme
It isn't really my style
But maybe if you read it
You'll shut up for awhile

Look inward
Self reflection is the key
I've watched you throw away your loyaltys
Bitch step off, get away from me

Whether I Fall, Means Nothing At All

This is how it numbs
This is how it dumbs
Baby, just make me bleed

An eightball of amazement
Erased him from my mind
Passion, anger, frustration
Intermingle and intertwine
The powder, so persuasive
Eratically sublime

This is how a heartaches
This is how a soul breaks
Repungnant and diseased
This is why I don't wanna stay clean

the solitude eases silence
It beats like the ticking of time
Loosing interest in the violence
Pretending everything is fine

Sick as all your secrets
Of all these twisted misfits
What does all this mean ?
this is why I can't stay clean

This is how a heart can die
This is the last time I'll cry
Temporary temptations
Alleviates the pain of penetration

This is not an explanation
Or an excuse for self-medication
This is just the only way I could grieve
And this is why I gotta stay clean

Tabloids Bleed

The state of shock
Panic
Frenzy
Theres something sleeping behind my eyes
In the distance of distraction
In the chaos of the morning
Their is a beacon
A cinnamon hued illuminating my realities archways
To a rank and ruin I call sanctuary

Primitive, your lack of virtue
This broke down palace I call Eden, it rejects you
Panic,frenzy,devolve
But I wasn't really good enough either

Pleasure Seeker

Galaxies interwoven
Seperating limberly
Graceless and stoic
Claiming the cautious

Breakaway, beaten boy
These eyes saw you as you truly are today
Calming things to come to terms
So pass that mirror boy, you just pass that plate

You'vre created a pleasure seeker
With your call girls and rent boys
We were all just passing passions
Music to erase the noise
Replenish this battleground
Make my body a warzone
All I ever asked of you
Was to never leave me alone

But planets collide
Shattering swiftly
Deaf and dreaery
Sacrifice the sentiment

I got a bastard in the bell jar
A driad on the loo
Bound to the broken
Let it breathe in you

You've created a pleasure seeker
With your call boys and rent girls
We were just simple soldiers
A couple quick thrills
Return to the battleground
The begining of this war
Just promise me
It won't hurt anymore

Never let me down again
Your secrets kept hidden
Supposedly sanctioned
I don't know you at all

It hasn't hurt again
Not since the cocaine
Wishing you could retreat
Back to your brain

But sleep won't come gentle
As the bombs explode
Guilted and guided
Drown in the disaster

You created a pleasure seeker
With your powdered prayers and liquid alters
We were too weak and neive
Never enough, but still enough for a starter
Leave this battleground
Release this warzone
Your promises are worthless
Better left alone

Their Morality

Goodbye, goodluck

Stuck in a rut

Transversing the waves

Collide with the pain

Slithering deeper

Couldn't be sweeter

Wonder

Wonder why
I even try
to erase the sorrow
from the sky

The battles that bruise
This ego of mine
Relax to the reason
Interwoven and intertwine

All I Am

The bearer of bad news
This day you fight to save a life
This time I stand for myself
The bleeding will subside
the wounds will eventually scab
Scar as they may, I will heal
Delerium
thats who I'll always be
Another fallen idol

Lets Build A Fire

The wind is whipping
as the sky melts creamy
Intense as the arctic
Cuddled in my secure sanctuary
A flame shines crimson
smothering the icy emotions with it's haunted heat
Burning out those frozen memories
Char and cinder
It shines linear
A fraction of the failures
Dissolve
Lets throw in another log

Little Ditty

a heavy burden
felt behind my eyes
the ache of insomnia
it's melody sambas through my conscious
rave unto this new birthed year
another cross to bear
another addiction to overcome
the melotonin isn't melting fast enough
not to counteract this sleepless morning

Wonderland

What I hide is none
of peoples concern
Fuck and run
Live and burn

Moon shines grey
On your delicate spine
Frolicking souls and bodies
Relax, and intertwine
Forever contracting
Hearts expanding

It's expected
To command and reflect
Moonlight giving that added effect
While the stars never told the rest
Body and essence
spilling on my best Sunday dress
Pludar of the sky, hued a royal blue
Loss that lingers, heavenly subdued

Srunching of the nose
Helping the red off the rose
Feel your rotten insides
Head to raisin toes
Claiming you only hurt the hunted

Stray off, into your own private wonderland

Is This Desire ?

This body squirms
Muscles contract
Yet they do not dwell on the movements.

the flesh slowely stretches
the cranium adapts to sudden stimulus
Emerging from it's cocooned coma

The archways of this sphere contract and release
the thoughts of pleasure and pain.
Remorse.
Forgiveness that is not given
But what is life, if not for the taking

Quite.
Lonely.
Weary of another battle not worth waging.
Avoidance of violence, purely pacifist
Though what is blood for, if not for the shedding ?

Cut serenely, painless and swift.
Not as deeply as the written words
escaping from a world so corrupted by chaos
But what are confessions for, if not for overcoming ?

Confiding in a self proclaimed messiah is never wise
when the archways of alliance contract, then realign
As the shackles of silence release and unwind
Though what is confidence for, if not for the breaking ?

In my glass coffin, I am waiting
For the icicles on the eyelash to thaw
So the hate can melt away purely
Because what is passion for, if not for the accepting ?

To emerge from the ashes of deception
To be engulfed in the sumptuous sin
To embrace the flames of passive pleasure
I ask you, is this desire ?

Can Sanity And Happiness Co-Exist ?

Call and respond,
This pre-packaged pollution.
My baby dolls are bleeding,
Rocked and ravaged by the mounting paranoia.
Craving the carnivore in you,
Master to master.
Fulfillment nullified,
Distilled desires no longer relevant.
Injectable and injestable,
No longer neglectible.
Passing purges,
Another version of rehabilitation..
Until then,
It’s not about the addiction.
Just pull the ripcord,
Freedom in the fornication.
Bastardised versions,
shackles stifle the education.
Liars lie,
Lovers overlook the evidence
Breeding ground,
Another lust to the sacrifice.
Feed the fury,
For one last unrealistic excuse

Carve The Numbers

I’ve got a craving
I can’t deny
The speed of candy
Is on my mind
The taste of impact
Is so sublime
Hit me baby
one more time

I want a bite of your candy bar
Be it a Milky Way or Even Mars
These sugar demons who devoured me
The vampire succubus that comes for the revelry
Embrace the disasters
Come on, and feed

Call me lazarus
Because theres no keeping a good bitch down
Rise and fall, just to emerge from the rank and ruin

As your razor kissed my opalesque wrist , I stared into your guiless eyes
Smooth and creamy as a decaf vanilla latte
There was no fear in your face
No concern or worry about the emotional attachment
Or the growing alchemy

I’ve tried to kill what I loved the most
I loved it and rubbed it until it bled
Just another stranger in my bed
Are you just another notch on the headboard ?
Your body curled and content on the far side of the bed
Feels like it could create a continent of chaos

Should we ?
Shouldn’t we ?
Allow it
Deny it ?

Fuck it,
Bear those fangs
I need a sugar fix
You look like a family bag of king size candy bars baby

Stark Brown Eyes (Full Version)

Stark Brown Eyes

I drank in your stark brown eyes
And I began to see, where I wanted to be
I swam the miles to your face
And I kissed your lips, with my fingertips
In the breath that came to beat
Was this insane ? Numbing the pain ?

The sheets were wet
And so were we
From the sweat of the desire
On which the vampires feed
The bed was bare
As your furry behind
Was it all you wanted ?
Was the ecstacy sublime ?

And when I heard your mumbled voice
I wondered if it was a crime ? Was this sin mine ?
I looked down, to your sweat soaked hands
but they placed no shame, or a bit of blame
They gently healed my rampant confusion
Calming my fears, they erased my tears

Your lips trembled
While my arms ached
How could something that felt so right
Be called a mistake ?
My body was broken
Yours collapsed
Was this the product of bliss ?
The cost of such a sensual attact ?

I returned to your face
And all I knew, was I'd always want you
Your mouth formed a silly grin
Not sure of what you require, or who you desire
You simply stared down and me
and kissed my wrists, with your pouty lips
I let out a weary sigh
I just know it was right, and worth the fight

Your minds a mess
And it's confusing me
Not sure what you want
or what you need
So many questions
Not enough time to think
Know I'm an option
If your heart wants to be in sync

I traveled east, I traveled west
And I've come to realize, it's not a test
Pleasures seekers are often blind
To the playground they really hope to find
So take as much time as you need
Cos I know all you would require
Can be found in me...

Dope Fairie

The chaos moon shines grey
through the broken blinds of my rashackle manor
Reflecting neon on his peaceful slumber
Awakening him to face the elegance of the fading darkest hour

The sight of his sleepy, slightly dopey smile
Erases all my dumb and delicate doubts
While his eyes glistened, in the mid morning summer sun

When I woke next to you this morning
I realised you are by far the sweetest
Roly Poly Olly I could ever hope to claim as mine

You don't talk about your issues
And I don't seem much to mind
Your actions tend to speak volumes
Of what you may be to ashamed to admit you want to find

Emo Rantings Of a Drunken Idol

Why do I feel like I've done more damage then good ?
Or that I'm causing you more grief then pleasure ?
Is the option I present so wrong to your belief system ?
Is the love I have to give just not good enough ?
Issues are meant to be dealt with,
And yet they get swept under the rug.
with the left over Sour Patch Kids,dust and debris.
I don't want to cause you any pain
It's not fair to you, but this isn't fair to me
When the emotions that stir in me are too much to handle
When I am allowed no outlet for chaos in my brain
I want to help you through your confusion
Not dwell on the past, or the reprocusions of the future
The here and now
Let me in
If it's not the right choice
If it's not enough
If my heart isn't good enough
Let me go, but please be swift
I love you
Help me stop

Even Judas Got A Trial

I'm being punished
For the revelry of my past
The rank and ruin of passing pleasures
They granted me so little in the flickering moments they came for
I embrace the inevitable solitude
The mysterious surrender
Slit me open
Suck me dry
I have nothing left to give
My eggs are expired
And my cream is no longer of any use to you
Sitting in the corner, with a novel in hand
Knowing I should have never let you read my secrets
But I gave my notes and lectures away for free
Plagarize your way through life
I have nothing more to give you
And you could never pay me
In fruit,land,money,or blow jobs
what my worth as a human being is

Reluctant Monarch

Memories of the brilliant bliss
Invade the once sated sleep stories
Trickling into this silent slumber
The desires that should have been damned
Possesed passions awakening the hunter in the hunted
A face on my pillowcase
Sheets slick with sweat and satisfaction
Another broken battlefield

Confessing the confusion
Expecting an embrace that never comes
the calming comfort of a sleepy smile
You, a reluctant monarch
With one more plastic monkey to add to you barrel of primates
Safely secured like a lie untold
Another curiosity fulfilled
I don't mind hanging for my own sins
But I refuse to be crucified for yours

It astounds me
the glass I wouldn't mind crawling through
Or friends I wouldn't mind lying to
If it meant I could spend one more minute with you

Pervasive Penetration

You're the passion that consumes me
The martyr has long since faded from the gloomy catacombs of my mind,
while light shines aqua, in the dreamspace you occupy.
Silvery strands flicker off your pouty lips,
Slick with desire that will no doubt erase me whole

The loyal friend and the passive lover,
The duo of roles you fill so serenly
Destroying me so completely with that simple smirk
Rebuilding me with ease with a sleepy smile
Answers never come easy
The riddles always contain both option or opinion
Continuous betting on either outcoe

Always afraid of what you could loose
Always afraid of what embracing this could mean
Is it so wrong to loose yourself in the pleasure my body can give you ?
Is it that hard to admit maybe this is more than physical stimulation ?

Contentment comes when my head hears your heartbeat
Through the linen of your covering, through the tissue we call skin
It crashes like clapping thunder through my ears
Like the electric spark within the connection of skin on skin
Mouth wanders to places too taboe to mention

I hide behind my open armour
Pretending the cuts don't sting
If you hadn't met me, I'm probably still be ok alone
But now that the loneliness has faded
What does it mean ?

Give me everyhing you have and more
It's not enough but it's never enough
And I don't need the baubles or bells and whistles
Or the dolls and bears or anyother token of territory
Words are worthless
Show me your story
I'm not afraid of who your becoming
But maybe you are

Why Is It Wrong ?

That your kisses taste sweeter than any chocolate Godiva could fathom ?
Or that your body is something my heart can understand ?
That spoiling you brings me the greatest joy money can buy
And a teddy bear from you would melt my heart, but I don't expect one
That any gift, no matter how small, is cherished
I love you because you are a man of virtue
Not a man of abuse or hubris
You made me whole again
Fun again
I think I might be happy
Because I know that I'm blessed
I love you
because you are you...

Erect You A World

You arrived so swiftly
Surrounder in flame
Feeding the passions that laid dormant for so long
Engulfing me in a bliss of another kind
Subconsciously sealing the deal
Loving you is different
Then anyone loved before
Your in my skin
Inticing desires long dead
Your penetration is heaven
Your release is divine
the way our bodies interact
connect and combine
enough is never enough
Those kisses are craveable
Touches so surreal
Looking into your stark green eyes
And I begin to feel
Whole again
Home again
You can erect the passion in me
I'll build you a world

Gingerbread Man

I think that I'm happy
Because I know that I'm blessed
When I can hear your heartbeat
Drumming in your chest
Sounds like a love letter
From god himself
Telling me to forge past your faults
Embrace from within

Your love would be a godsend
I miss your smell, your scent remains vivid
As the predator in you puts the predator in me to shame
The hard to grasp monarch butterfly
Flapping through the wild wind
These are the things your made of
As Isleep soundly
In a house made of gumdrops and ginger bread

But sugar eventually rots
In the glare of the afternoon moon
And eventually our songs
and guitars must be tuned
Rhyme and reason
Intertwine like solar kisses
Bleeding out for anothers last breath

Decieve me
Believe me
I know that it's true
My heart is slowely breaking
Because of baby boo

Simple Suicide

No more "good nights"
No more "Sweet dreams"
Only an occasional "Take Care"
But what does that even mean ?

I got a storm in a saucer
A tornado in a cup
The pain this silence is causing
Enough is rarely enough

The heart slowely stops beating
The lunges begin to slow
Did your soul ever love me ?
I guess we'll never know

The muscles contract and stiffen
as bones begin to ache
Your words were warm and tender
But your love was always fake

I breathe in the car fumes
Relax into sated sleep
I take in the carbon minoxide
as the I fall into the deep

No more pain
No more loss
I open the garage door
It's not worth the cost

The soul begins to open
The light begins to shine
My thoughts are no longer focused on you
And my life is truly, all mine.

Enough

Goodbye
Goodluck
I can no longer give a fuck
About your hopes
your dreams
Or your flailing self esteem
I can no long bother with a cynical attitude
I've been fare too nice to you,
for you to be that rude
So goodbye
Goodluck
Enough is enough
Find your path to least resistance
Please hear my insistance
Find what makes your heart bleed
But please keep quite, close the door, and leave...

Before I Knew You

Before you
Life was easy
Sleep came without thoughts clouding my travel to slumber valley
Before you
I didn't miss the weight of anothers lips upon mine
Or the way fingertips would dance while tracing the outline of my face
I never craved the meshing of hands being held
Or the taste of anothers tongue
Til you
I never wanted anything
And now
I can't breathe
I can't sleep
I miss your kiss
The way your back would arch as I entered you
Or how your palms would claim handfuls of hair while I pleasured you
No one did it quite like you
Before you
I was content
And now
I'd sell my soul for one more kiss
One more embrace
No one before made me quiver with anticipation
Come home

Pink and Black, Your Next Attack

I sit in a room of pink and black
Wondering if your planning your next attack
My wings have been burned
Right down to the tip
As we float right down the Vegas Strip
It's hard to believe in you
When your so scared
I've been left vaccinated
My soul left bare
When I say "I love you"
I don't expect a reply
But if I ever heard one
I think that I would die
Smarting from the suffucation
You say you just don't know
But if you realised you can't love me
Then please, just let me go
The cobwebs are spinning
My vision seems clear
I'm waiting for your confusion
To finally disappear
If you can't decide
I guess it must be true
And I guess I should re-read
"he's just not that into you"

I Don't Love You

I love you...
Not because of your gorgeous smile
Or your perfect cock
I do not love you for your sweet, cinnamon kisses
Or your rock idol looks
I do not love you for your past generosity
Or your blemished self esteem
I love you because when I finally spoke
You know exactly what I mean

I don't love you because of your deliscious bubble butt
I don't even love you, because your an amazing fuck
I don't love you for your sleepy smile
Or your beautifuly amazing eyes
I love your soothing voice,
that soothes me when I cry

I do not love your texting
When you tell me "Sweet dreams" or "goodnight"
I love the deepest, sweetest sleep
I reach when your right by my side

I love you for your candor
Your simple way of being
I love that when you hug me
I know its me your seeing

I love the way butterflies in my tummy
flutter when your around
I love the sweest smile
When I tease you about going down

I don't love you for your money
That we both know you don't have
I don't love your stupid Zune
Or the software I downloaded
I love you best when your next to me
And you've just unloaded

I don't love the contradictions
I don't love the catastrophys you put me through
I just love your calming comfort
I just love you being Boo

Wide Awake, But It's Not Morning

I'm wide awake
But it's not morning
My eyes flutter wide
Infused with the knowledge of nothing
Destiny is a mind fuck
and still, my eyes dance from object to silly object
Reliving the memories of when the gifts were given
Birthdays and Christmas
Make ups and break ups
Simple gestures from a simple man
At a simple time in my life

I draw back the sheets
Pink and black
Bruised
To match the mismatched turmoil that echoes within my skull
Is he different, is he different.
Has he really changed ?
Or am I sleeping with a liar whose got nothing left to lie about.

Breath comes swiftly on a white trash sofa
Nestled on the rain soaked balcony
Over looking my white washed worl
This is my reality
This is who I am
The constant questioner
Just call me Carrie Bradshaw
As I question my lover to the door he is sure to run for

Love ? Sex ? Passion ? Trust ? Can you have all four at once ?
Can sanity and happiness truly co-exist ?
Or are we playing ourselves
While blaming others for the role of the dice

No love is ever
Undemanding
You can pretend if you like
Sleep soundly on your bed of tangerine chiffone
While I toss and turn on cheap cotton sheets
Waiting for the day to come
When your lips go to meet mine
And not the other way around
Beauty breeds chaos
And I'm simply a good disaster

Sounds Silence Brings

With chapped lips
and an acid tongue
You met me in the dark
With an irony in my heart
And a revolution in my throat
The quite things no one ever knows
Are usually the voices no one wants to hear
And the next time we exchange a kiss
I hope you find my sugar on your lips
Tainting you with the spark of supremacy
The taste of temptation
Right here in the dark
Where only these pink and black sheets know
the darkest secrets in your heart

Backstage Wristband

They say happiness is a zenith
At such great heights
There is only one place left to go
Down down down
Burn to the ground
But Tobi liked high places
To change the equation
you and me cannot equal us
when one and one add up to two
Me and you
Different as a setting sun and a rising moon
Equally gifted, but always alone
But the moon and sun cannot exist without eclipsing each other
Can my light be masked by your darkness
Can your misery fade with my glory
Questions and comments
Another one for the record books
Unidentified solution
To a prophet on the hill
Someone to hear the incoherent ramblings
Of a poet in love
While he listens to wind blow

Hands

Alone in the dark...
The closet half open,
Wind whipping through my window.
The humidity so sickeningly strong, it bowls me over.
I cling to a black body pillow,
Imagining your chest bellow my cheek
Wondering where you are tonight....

Your Blade Shines Bitter

Everything in time
That is what they tell me
Good things come
But fade away
The slicing stigma
Of this blade

The Dream Dissolves

I wish I knew
How to forget you
Or that aspect of this spectacle
I don't wanna miss you
But I don't wanna kiss you
I'm afraid to let you go
Even though I already know
That you wouldn't let yourself love me
Though you knew how much I cared
I dreamed the dream of the dreamer
And it only left you scared
Of yourself, of me, of your very own family
Of what is more than likely, your reality
I loved you like a hunter
Chasing down it's kill
I swallowed down the life you fed me
But it was a bitter pill
All I want now is to forget
Those feelings I felt for you
But you can't erase destiny
When the love I felt was true....

I Shouldn't

I Shouldn't
Miss you, but I do.
It's hard to breathe sometimes
because I'm realizing you don't miss me.
Lord knows I gave it my all,
and I can say honestly, you tried.
I miss your touch so much.
Late at night, alone.
I dream of you.
I close my eyes and imagine you there.
And with slick fingers
I induce orgasm
The stimulation is alien
Yet I imagine you there
Visualizing you
The mind is a beautiful liar
And I'm still here begging it to deceivve me

Blades Of Grass

Second star to the right
That's where you said you'd meet me
Operation Peter Pan
But I couldn't hold on
To what I could not plan
So the dream dissolved
Like a sugar high
Wet with sweat
And I evolved
Into something I could not accept
And as eyelids closed
To hide the shame
The hurt it ravaged
Until there was nothing left
I could recognize
The eyes were smeared
With caked on courage
Hiding the scars
While they tried to mend
But your impact was intense
Reigniting with just a spark
A wic and a candle who should have remained apart
Second star to the right
Straight on til Midnight
That's where I decided to leave you
Operation Peter Pan
Because I could not contain
What I could not have
So my hope ran dry
Like the water bleeding
And the ache receded
Til I awoke
Free of guilt
But flowers only blossom
So they can wilt
I forget the nutrients
And let time slowly pass
We were only
Blades of grass

Sometimes

You had my heart all a flutter
With your emo brand of charm
But I can walk down any street
In this no class town
And find a dozen of you
You think your so in tune
With what life is and the leaving the past in the past
Yet every time you see me cry
You don't even bat an eyelash
It's like I'm dealing with an infant
Only the five year old is more mature
What to do I with an emotional retard ?
Cling to it like ivy
And hope he comes along

Sometimes I can be a mess
Sometimes I can be a cunt
But sometimes your an asshole
Sometimes it pays to be blunt
Once in a while
It feels good to just be free
But sometimes it feels better
When your inside of me

This thing we have is rusted
It's unreliable and it's weird
Which is why your emo ass runs away from it
Instead of facing the fear
Sorry I don't have a clit
Sorry I don't have perky tits
All I know is that I love you to bits

Sometimes I'm a liar
Sometimes you're a thief
And sometimes it's just better
When your away from me
Sometimes it's a mystery
Why I ever put up with you
But it always felt better
When you were still my boo

I Miss You Without Warning

I can admit I did things wrong
I just really miss you
I miss talking to you about dumb shit
I miss the phone call I'd get when you were waiting for the bus,
and wanted someone to talk to, and it was me
I miss looking at you and knowing you knew me
I miss conversations started by you
instead of you answering a question
I miss being your friend
Where did it go ?

Eat My Fuck

Rehabilitation has faded
And you know it feels so good
Off the wagon baby
Like everyone knew I would

I'm in the dark
I'm out of line
But the taste of the numbness
It's completely sublime

How much more do I have to pay
to erase
to erase
Please God, erase that lousy lay
Cos my hearts broken
And it's not a game
So I embrace what erases the pain
The calming comfort
So insane

I'm in a battle with my body
And I think I'm winning the war
The powder erases all the doubt
While I'm spinning on the floor

The razor cuts serenely
And it hits just like a kiss
It's kinda like a sugar high
The illegal kind of bliss

It's not that I even hate him
But the memories linger still
So I sip some more of my vodka tonic
And I pop another pill

How much more do I have to pay
to erase
to erase
Please God, erase that lousy lay
Cos my hearts broken
And it's not a game
So I embrace what erases the pain
The calming comfort
So insane

I cut it down again and again
Two seductive poison lines
I pour a bath, and snort them up
Then relax until I die

The taste is still to bitter
It's almost obsolete
The tension it can terrorize
But I'm still too high to sleep

Hours pass, like dying dreams
As I flutter in and out
I'm swirling,twirling, coming down
And in hours I lost ten pounds

As I lick the mirror
and my mouth and tongue go numb
I shatter that reflective demon
And vomit until I'm done

How much more do I have to pay
to erase
to erase
Please God, erase that lousy lay
Cos my hearts broken
And it's not a game
So I embrace what erases the pain
The calming comfort
So insane

Blood Burns

Love have torn me apart
Rejection of normalcy
I asked for this pain
The razor kissed my tightening wrist
while blood pools

It spatters
Into liquid crimson words
Cursing you into submission
I won't brand you with my suicide
Or my self mutilating genocide
I was always ripe for the slaughter

Weak, Pathetic, And Hanging On To Shreds Of Self Worth

I wonder how your doing ?
If your excelling or drifting into despair ?
Do you miss me even a little ?
Or are you blaming me for the mistakes of others ?
Do you think we'll ever be friends again ?
At this point is it even worth asking ?
When will you realise I did nothing wrong ?
I tried desperately to save you...
From yourself.....
Why is everything my fault ?
Is this how the game is played ?
Do you sleep well at night ?
Do you ever regret your descions ?
What of the lies and alibis ?
Will you call when your sober ?
I need another xanax

Eve

Warm the flesh and chill the bone
can't think of a better way to do it
then on the eve of samhain
wierd red light in a twisted tiny town
and good pop song on the radio
lulling you into a false sense of security
This is penance
Purgatory fashioned by the hearts of man

Paper Flowers

The flowers aren't coming
To pay respect to the dead
I'd rather focus on the living
And your alive inside my head

I still feel the earth move
Still feel sand crumble between my fingers
Warmed by the slinking sun
Yet your memory still lingers

Was I ever the one I was meant to be
It wasn't meant to be you
Then was it meant to be me ?

I'm disillusioned by the past
Haunted by a siren that rests serene
This is my penance
This is my torture

For when you were rocked and ravaged
And left bleeding on the floor
I would not come to you
I would not come....

Hazy Shade Of Bullshit

You can spout your words
Of over exaggerated business
Or melodramatic cause
But you won't get any reaction out of me
Except for a few applause

When you fall on your face
When your put in your place
When it all comes crashing down

I don't need to say anything to make you look bad
When you wear a laziness crown

It's all over
It's finished
Your gone, and it's finally done
But I'm safe and sound
And you haven't a place to call home
So tell me, who really won ?

No longer will I hear your loser friends ranting on in bursts and fits
You've got your new prized possession with her perky tits.
Unemployed idiocy with sticky fingers to use
Tell me again, exactly what did I loose ?

A charming man ?
No, a closest case
Who claimed we would remain friends
But couldn't say it to my face
That he retreated back
That it wasn't for you
One less parasite
One more mouth to feed


Run to Miss Muffet
Who sat on her tuffet
While she sold you out to save her own skin
Tell me, Tell me, oh Princess Pony
What lies behind that self serving grin ?

You talk about fakes
How there such a disgrace
And yet your queen of the castle.

So tell me, oh tell me, Princess Pony
What will you do when your castle breaks ?

When you fall on your face
When your put in your place
When it all comes crashing down

I don't need to say anything to make you look bad
When you wear a laziness crown

My Bedroom Walls

I can never breed with another man
I could never understand that foolish way of thinking

I say I love you more than words
You say care about me, but you love her
I have had you and I already know
Theres just no where this can go

So I retreat back within


My bedroom walls are burning down
And everyone can see my scars
It wasn't love that tore us apart
It was a little something called honesty
That was something you failed to bring

My bedroom walls are stained and in ruins
You have come and ransacked my faith
My bedroom walls just simply rot
And it wasn't love that tore it apart
It was a little thing called dignity
Which was something I couldn't bring

I need more than my fair share

The truth should be so sweet
But it's simply rotten
It's youth decay
Like candy cotton
My sweet tooth burned a whole in your head
You can't kill a bastard, when he's already dead.

And all my friends are worried
That I'm alone in my room
But they shouldn't worry
Because at least there I'm never lost
Cos I've got Courtney Love and Emma Frost

Go to sleep now
Under your rock
Forget the love I gave you
Forget me sucking your cock
Return the trinkets that you were so eager to accept
And take the incoming force of debt

And you can spoil her til her heart is rotten
And it'll be so sweet, like candy cotton

I'll still be alive
Soaking in a bath
I can read real good
But I can't do the math

Letter Unsent

I wanted to write you a letter
But knew it would go unsent
Telling you how sorry I am
For all the damage we inflicted on each other
For things said out of anger and pain
In jealousy and sorrow
From confusion and illusion

It was not your fault, I tolerated too much
Abandoning my own needs, justifying your confusion
I settled for what you were willing to give me
A few moments of stolen pleasure derived from pleasing you
Never was I a priority, where you took center stage

I loved you like no one else before
Like no one ever will
The irony isn't ironic
The tragedy is not tragic

You've discovered a bliss of another kind, a new place to call home
She sounds like she might be able to save your soul
I pray she can give you the happiness I could not
That your sleepy smile graces your sullen face more often than not
I hope that the normalcy you crave can be found in her arms, her embrace
For you to find something to fill the void in your heart

I question if it can
And I know you do too
Has the THC in your system clouded your thought process ?
Or have the sticky fingers just found another button to push
Our friendship disolved the night she was introduced
Are you afraid she won't like the truth ?
Or are you afraid to admit it ?

Widows Chant (Vampire Chant)

What if I'm finally waking up ?
Is it to late to figure this out ?
I'm seeing it all with eyes wide open
Yet I'm so afraid of what I see
Could I really be ready to move my life along ?
Or am I stalling because I'm scared of not holding onto him
When I know I've already let him go
Could you be the one to fix me ?
Claim me as your own, and plant your flag on my land ?
Am I even willing to be conquered ?
Friends til the end I'm hoping I've found
But to altar the course could be my biggest sin
What to do and what to say
Can't seem to make it go away
Enjoy the moment thats all I can do
And relax into getting to know the real you

Glitter For The Masses

Glitter For the Masses
Current mood: amused

"Glitter For The Masses"

I talk myself down
For some degree
Of normalcy
Baby, I feel so foxy
Wearing your disasters

Pull at the petals
Notice how they fade
An anthem of decay

Who am I to you ?
Patron saint to men who should know better ?
A martyr to love's last failure ?

Not broken, not stressed
Just clean up the mess
of self constructed tragedies

I talked myself down
From some degree
Of honesty
And now I feel disgusting
When I'm wearing your disasters

Apologize (Burn Him Like A Witch)

Apology (Burn Him Like A Witch)

Apologize
Some say it's easy to just do
But I won't say I'm sorry
For wanting to know you

I'm sorry if it's awkward
I'm sorry if it's wrong
But sometimes keeping secrets
Is what keeps some friendships strong

I'm sorry I'm emotional
I'm sorry you don't speak
But when I saw the tears in your eyes
I knew this friendship could run deep

So I'm sorry that I questioned
Your motives and your voice
It only matters what you think of this
What others say is noise

You promise you'll always be honest
And I'll always be straight with you
And life will be much simpler
Get back into the groove

Sleep

Sleep

I do not sleep
As thoughts dance behind my eyes
And I cannot sleep
For the voices of doubt cloud my mind
Questioning choices I've made and truths I've told

I will not sleep
For when I close my eyes, I see only you
Smiling so seductive, I can't help but succumb to your demands
And I can't recall when I became this weak and easy
So I dare not sleep
For nothing awaits me but an emotional crippling
That will push me into the black flames of Mordor

The burning brings forth an awkward sensuality
And I wonder what Frued would make of that
Avoiding the subconscious with a delicate balance
Of caffeine and codeine
I pray the dawn comes quickly

Tired of fighting, the darkness eventually devours
It's touch too sweet too ignore
It's cool embrace more comforting than any lover
And I find myself again on the edge of Mount Doom
Pleasuring you one last time before I descend into madness
Your precious returns to the flame of life
Only to rise from the ashes once the sun eclipses the midnight moon

Rose Tinted World

Your Bitch Ass Needs To Be Nicer, And I Really Need A Diet Soda...

I saw him again...

For the first time in many weeks

He looks no different

Yet I see him in a new light

I see the flaws

the indignities I lived through

The bliss of ignorance fades leaving behind only

the desire to vomit at this mere sight of a fallen idol

A wicked smile crosses my face

As the rose colored lenses have shattered

And finally, I see you as you are

Ice Cream Sundaes With Jesus

There isn't any flavor I haven't tasted
No desire I've not indulged
The syrup can be sticky and heavy
but it'll go down smoother than any whiskey
This is my battlefield baby, and you may just win the war

I find myself craving something forbidden
A hidden experience denied to this make shift martyr
It's not right, it isn't sane
It can destroy everything I've erected

So I settle for resting my war torn head
On a shoulder sheathed in mocha colored faux leather
It offers the most calming comfort I've ever embraced
Sandy blonde hair intertwines with a mess of brunette stuble
At a loss, in the scents and textures of this beautiful bonding.
Almost liquid in design

But this is not right, and I cannot dock on this cool island
So I escape into the escape of gluttony
Eating these feelings until they're full up
Cherry castles and gingerbread skies
Can't erase this awkward ascension
And I cannot claim this country with my white flag

Dance for me, spin my round like a record
So there won't be time to dissect this titillation
And I've been at war with God far too long
To sit down for Ice cream sundaes with Jesus
I'd rather feast with a the Magdalene
On the moon drenched shores of Plundar
Than indulge my sugar tooth with a reluctant monarch
We'll just have to agree to disagree

So until peace can be made
Attila, the honey's blade will be wielded serenly
Contentment will have to be good enough
Happiness, after all, can always be found
At the end of the next plateau